I grew up in Seattle and I was always a pot head. Ten years ago I joined a band and went on the road - it was always a party and these trashy fans always had lots of drugs. It all worked for a while - I had lots of energy on stage, I looked cool and I wrote some really good lyrics and music. I felt like a superstar as we thrashed our way around the west and then one day it stopped working so I started doing Meth. The other guys shot it in their veins so I did the same. I didn't share needles but I wasn't very careful beyond that because I only knew about HIV.
Well, the band blew apart and I found myself living on Colfax Avenue in a hotel with a bunch of bums. I started doing painting work on the weekends and enrolled in school to learn how to be a writer. I only drank and never did any drugs during this time and everything went pretty well until I realized I couldn't stop drinking. I started blacking out and drinking in the morning. I started doing meth again because it kept me from blacking out and drinking so much.
I got kicked out of my place because I didn't have the rent any more so I went to the Salvation Army to get sober. I got a test for Hep C while I was there and came up positive - that freaked me out and I got drunk and spent a few weeks on the street. I couldn't take that life so I got myself into another sober shelter and started working the 12 steps. I did some work but as soon as I got paid I got drunk and high all over again.
It would be several years before I drew a sober breath and that only happened because my liver stopped working. The Hepatitis C and booze had taken my liver down. They told me I would die within weeks if I didn't quit - I couldn't believe what I had become - a happy kid to a street bum - almost dead.
Right then I heard a voice and it told me I could live and that I just needed to surrender and stop trying to run my life. I cried and years of pain spilled out of me. I told the voice that I would do whatever it took. From that point on things just fell into place. I had no money but I never missed a meal - I went to some classes and joined a 12 step group where I found a group of men who told me what to do and helped me to recover. I did everything they said and it has worked. I had enough of that pain and I don't ever want to go back.